Panic..

So, up until two nights ago I had been very calm & almost unnaturally unaffected by the prospects of my upcoming surgeries.. (5weeks today I'll be chilling in hospital) but... A few nights ago while lying in bed pondering the meaning of life as many people tend to do at silly o'clock in the morning it suddenly dawned on me exactly what my body is about to go through, and its a lot for anyone! The thought of them opening up my sides, breaking ribs, collapsing lungs, screws and rods & chest drains is just not on the agenda for a normal 19 year old.. But that's the thing I'm not normal, which is the reason they're doing this whole thing in the first place! I just have to try and keep the positives in mind same as every other person who has been through or is going through this process! I'll be taller, stand straighter, no more muscle cramps, nor more rib hump or sticky outty shoulder blade, even sides and hips being levelled off.. Sure I'll have a few scars but they're just there to let everyone else know what you have been through & shouldn't be anything to be embarrassed about! My message in this blog is really just to stay positive, the whole surgery process is just a short time out of your whole life!! & anytime I get scared that's all I need to remember.. If anyone has any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to email me :) leighgould03@gmail.com, LJxxx